Strong source breaks stones
Author:
ANNAmain • Date: 14 December 2016 at 05:55 PM
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That year is so significant to everything I am doing so it needs to make a kind of balance sheet to the previous tens of years. I was born with a vision and was developing it despite of vacuum and agressive pressure from outside. In my 14th y.o., 1986, I was drawing Windows World.
I felt it as a world full of windows and different dimentions which are linked to each others. The message was clear for me and I was trying to found a new way to express it. The pictires was cut in different pieces to put different pictures over each others.
If I had felt pens, or just a good colors when I was six, I would try to made the same drawings in six. Unfortunately it was zero to buy: no books, no felt pens, no colors and no brushes. Zero information. Terrible. We had no money also, my parents was PhD Math scientists wich means they experienced lack of all kind of resources, literary poor. That times my mother sewed for us and made knitting. Our grandmathers helped us with food sending it from 6000 kilometers where they lived, to our snows.
I was depressive and unhappy for tens of years because of being far forward from the dull reality.
Everyone who observed my pictures was in shock because it was a complete contrary to the majority agreed to be dull.They said I was crazy just because nobody did it like this, nobody used so bright colors and especially the subject. Nobody cut holes in paper. They said I should stop it and became normal.
I stopped to show my art instead.
5 years later they still told me it was against everything. In addition publish houses answered it was not possible to cut holes in published books so I should forget it and be normal like others. "Drop it and relax," they said.
Yes, it was impossible in 1986-90.
Today, in 2016, more then 20 years later it is a normal practice.
Through more then 30 years I tryed more and more to learn what exectly my vision meant and how to express it. A power, yes, because I had it from my birth. The same power as a source which overcomes kilometers of ground and stones to reach the surface, to meet sun.
I had my high education in Physics to study how our world works. With high Math I trained my mind to speak correctly and accurately in the highest pure language for abstract things which describes the roots and essense of our reality.
I studied Kung Fu to learn how human body could accumulate, focuse and control the power. I did self-study of Eastern and Western philosophy and religions to search the truth. Sometimes it was incredible hard to found books. Some of them was given to me just to one night to read. Speaking poetically, it was some kilometers of stones to overcome.
It was many other disciplines to learn and a lot of own researches to make, because time shows I was right with my endeavours.
With time passed I gained more to remain my own source.
In nearest future I intend to make a gate for many other people. Writing this post I would like to confess how important a human path is in general and in all of the details. Analising your own you could found sources and keep in touch with your own power. Analizing my path you could found something helpful for your own.
Keep in touch!
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