When I took my lectures about brain work, I realize how it`s important to learn such things in time. Human brain has much more mutability then our bodies. Some people are  born with additional fields of brain, and in fact we have more then 5 senses. We have 19 specialized brain fields for perception, includes gravity, angle, pressure etc. We have much more then shows in everyday life.

It explains all of my struggle for my vision I used to have for the most part of my life. Here it is several of my first art works. I did it in my 14-16, the time I had my first kit of faber pens.

It was a gift among grey dull colors of soviet damn reality. I took it by a chance because it was unable to buy in the country closed for any external connection. Terrible years, a half of life of being blind and mute I`d never want to repeat. Ideas which grew in my mind was so different, even opposit to the reality, so it was a challege just to survive looking close to average. Even libraries was limited that time. I took my time in education - the only free zone I can found. I took my music school in violine for 9 years, 6 days per week, then my formal art school education, rather useless, I finished it in 2 years instead of 4. Then I took medical education, includes anathomy, for a 6 months because I wanted to be a neurosurgerist, actually a neuro scientist. I desired to know the truth.

As you can see on the pictures, I made my drawings with gaps. That is the part of my vision: Universe is full of windows and plates, ideas, movements which are existing simultaneously.

If you put all the pictures of that period which I did before my 17 y.o. together, you can see a new picture in the gaps of previous. This is the vision. All ideas exists in one time just in different fields.

Good people explained me how I was wrong, because no such colors in the world and no different worlds, just look around and enjoy shadows of grey as others did.

No way for me to take that life.  I covered all the pictures and stories behind carefully to hide it. Some of them was stolen later.

It was a half-life full of pressure. Not so easy to resist when you are 16 and everyone around are against. That time I developed the exect style I can tell things: you can see the all signs from the beginning:

And here, even in human-like figures:

And here, in portrets I did 10 years later:

 

It was the same. Something important was the same, hidden in each work, in each vision.

In medical school I realized it will be no development here, then I was back to natural science and won several math competitions, then became a student of Physics. Radio Physics was the only multy-disciplinary field with wide range of Physics included. My target was the same: to learn the truth, how the universe moves and what exectly my vision means.

I realized it being a Physicist by my first education. It is Power Lines and Fields. Black strokes is the power lines with the same message as magnetic power lines represents magnetic fields en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_field :

Fields around represents by colors, living, moving active colors I paint, represents the same message as power fieldsin physics, for example Kirlian en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirlian_photography

Many people threat Kirlian`s photography as an aura. I don`t tuoch that subject because of so many charlatans around it.

But for my senses, ideas is the same matherial thing, they have power lines, fields, they carry information and message. This is the point. All things in nature is meaningful. Look to that Kirlian`s picture of flower.

If I had that knowledge earlier, I would be a happy person. But I received it much later, so my beginning was miserable and sadness, except my painting. All painting has stories behind because I know exectly what it was.

Melting power, changing fields, gigant pressure as the physical processes inside stars, hot plasma:

That picture was about time. I made several poetry to describe more. Time which ruins all artificial and melts all organic and how it connects with information:

That painting names Meditation. The way for different mind to be stable and carry it`s ideas is to stay in the middle. This is why I am Theravada Buddhist. That`s why I keep my mind stable and antifragile. Staying in the middle we can be a witness how ideas comes and passes, make changes, growth, mutate, changes again, being stable by internal natural power.

That memory about things I overcame, and the root things which is so powerful so feed me all of the time of changes, struggle, search of knowledge, keep differencies which is natural and search for others, brothers and sisters, that memory keeps me going on and on. The new direction I am developing will open new areas and new vision for others who can develop it more. If you feel different, keep it with respect and make your own search for the answers.

You can see more in my Root Gallery which is my attachment to the initial power I belongs for annamain.org/site/art_galery/

Thank you for being with me!

Annamain