I`ve finished 2 new big AB painting and half-finished changes in my cabinet. The weather is sucks, so I want to delay with my cabinet and my third painting will be finished tomorrow,  I hope, now I want to be lazy and may be to sleep, as exception ealier as usual 3 AM.

Today morning I get out old furniture from my cabinet, except very good big office table and comfortable leather sofa. The room is empty now, everything is in mass because of thousands files of documents, millions books, folders with scetches… As I realize I could start a stationer`s shop! Many unpacked files, laminator, steplers, pens… Billions things! After an hour it will be specialist to put in my new closet, and then I`ll go to the furniture shop to order new closets etc, hopes service company will assemble it in monday. So my new look to new life stage will start very soon. Tired, in mass, but happy to make it new, then I am going to finish my painting before builders comes. 8-)

I am painting 3 big new pictures and have to finish previous two, and winter season nearly start.

Good time for sleeping, alsogood time to work. Do you think I choose sleeping?

Automn eventually started, getting cold and dark, so different from here:

To there:

... but also has several hidden common points, may be waves of the sea seems as waves of clouds, may be colours of light, may be it`s something from memory.

I`ve started 3 new big paintings and stuck near the middle of 2 previous, this is my plan before October flows into November, before shadows becomes blue, until colours of sky keeps warm of the sun.

My friend Ladushka`s just give me that picture. I admire it! This perfectly illustrates the way I feel how to be active, how to growth and how to transmitt your ideas to the world doing your job, keeping treasure of friendship, being so different in details but similar in deep internal nature.

I`ve started two new big paintings and won 3 EBay auctions last night, preparing to tear our all furniture from my cabinet and place a new one. Work with my new 15” laptop just from my bed and try not to sleep on the keyboard during typing! 8-)))))

As I see it`s about 20 days I didn`t write here. That time I was changing my interior, got out old heavy expensive furniture and stand new light modern and functional; and i wasn`t able to paint because of chaos everywhere, and try not to scream remembering late summer days.

Automn is depressive time for me, although I value the beautiful colours of nature, thoughts about coldness and cabbage-clothes influences me more. So the memory about sun and the sea becames something like another-life experience and it was not about me because I stuck here and have to welcome winter. That time I forget things burned out in my mind…

Lighting flow of shadows and gentle lines of leafs of the trees; joyful changes of sun spots during the day, positive dark blue colour of evernings, gray shadows in full moon night, and warm beauty of green freshness inside emerald seawaves. Remembering colours, remembering movement I feel better for a while, so…

Dancing live shadows…

Trees as it could be in Rivendell:

Don`t see the surface of the picture. Try to feel moving ligths and sun spots and dance of the trees, up and up, deadly slow dance in flow of nature changes…

Colours lives just above the surface of things, lives by it`s own life, fulfill thirst of the stones:

Hours of silent observing, among human life boiled around without touching my world of living energy i fell…

Painting is not the reason but this is the way to feel better things people usually don`t pay attention. Rithm of the place is the first music, puls of the energy is the first source so with so slow human senses I have to paint it, have to catch many-dimentions peception by hands.

Winter is the time I can remember better because of sence deprivation and dark, may be I`ll paint it in manner i`ve never used before, who knows?

I`ve just finished the couple-painting to previous "Fear and Courage discussing a Problem". It`s not a diptich but has logical and spiritual connections so I name it "a couple-painting". Why not twins as several others?

Because i didn`t paint it at the same time. It was the gap about a week when O started that one named "Half-Rsoulved". If you try to feel it by name you could imagine how buddha head was half-resolved in the sea of emotions so it seems as a destruction. But if you try to feel it in the context of "Fear and couage" and imagine it in the position on a wall below  "Fear and couage" you can feel that the term "half-resolved" connectes with a problem. The top of the "Half-Resolved" is the same emotional fire colores as "Fear and Courage", but on the bottom it is blue colours of clear calm waters; and deeper, deeper in it you can found buddha, calmness inside youself.

Being calm you can resolve every problem. Being cristal sincere in your heart you could gain happiness. Overcome your fear and found how strong internal nature is, so go deeper inside, try it, and even in the beginning your problems becomes half-resolved.

Everyone know how it`s hard to face a problem. Small problems could annoyes us but the big poblem with long history turns us to feel fear and want to cover it for a long, long time, probably forever. We all hope problems`ll decrease if we cover it… it doesn`t work.

As long as we hide a poblem it goes bigger, became more complicated, produces more post-reasons and may be growths into anothers. That way  we seeds our future instinktively and practice proves it`s not the best future we all want for ourselves, for our lovers, relatives, business… for everything includs our pets.

This is a barrier between consciousness and subconsciousness inside a person. The same barrier has another people so when we try to discuss problems in case to resolve it we feel the barrier. It`s not easy to overcome it. Double barrier from two people involved is enough to make Fear. We all feel fear as we see the reality doesn`t the same as our ideal. Sometimes we could realize information we could`t accept. It could change us, made us into uncontrollable changes and we feel fear to fall into parts, to be desintegrated that way… once we want to close it and forget, or force the situation to cover… and to turn it to be more destructive, turn it to death.

However we could treat it despite of our feelings of unsecure as fa as we want to create better future to ouselves.

So it`s need a Courage to penetrate into problem, to split it into parts we feel important to save, another parts we want to grow and determine parts which need corrections or to be under controll. May be we realize parts which poisons us. That way we turns ourselves to live more healthy life, to have better future.

That AB painting deducates to the first step into resolving, first step to intergation - to have a Courage to start a discussion, to put it into a dialog and to overcome our Fear in it.