ABPainting #7: Shalom. In memory of my Grandma
Author: ANNAmain • Date: 09 May 2013 at 10:09 AM

Today thare is goverment high day, Winning in II World War. Also this is my privat high day, birthday of my late Grandma, Riva Chudnovsky. Born in 1917 she overcame 2 wars, alone raised 2 sons, works hard all life taking care of everyone. She has 2 grand doughters and grandson, and Anna is the elder one.

So that day and that painting I dedicate for her memory, remembering her strength, courage, talent and  fondness, her extra care for me in the days everything was in deficiency or restricted and there was no breath, but she found everything for us, found for me. She found me two extra deficiency things - nuts and books. We both like reading and read together in evernings, each own book, in rest and peace. This is my memory of my Grandma - her golder hands, care and peace.

That past times wasn`t good for people. My family lived in Syberia, it was really deficiency of everything because my parents was just PhD scientists, not workers, so in communists rank of salary it was low. We has no possibility to buy food on market, but in shops it was no good food. One year it was deficiency of bread too. So strange to the country claims it`s ability to plan everything for people, in my memory it was everything against people. My grandma lived in Kiev, it was a kind of European city. My Grandma was talented and made a high career on the cake factory, she raised to  a sub director position. So she had possibility to bring nuts and sent it for us. She worked very hard taking care of everyone of the family, and her mother, my GrandGrandMa was under her care too. I remembered GrandGrandMa Gudel clearly, although I was 7 and she was 92.

When I was in Kiev, in my summer holidays, she made me an exceptional present: made agreement with all on neighbours to give me books from their home libraries. Books was in deficiency, no books available. Really bad times because my mind was in thirst all time. My Grandma feeded and drinked me with books. All books of fairy-tales, myths of different countries, heroes sagas - everything was opened for me as a jewels in rocks. I read Kalevala (Scandinavian epos) and Epos about Gilgamesh (ancient Mesopotamia) , Philippin and African fairy-tales and myths of India.

That was the result of my Grandma`s negotiations because such treasures was unavailable even in libraries.

So I received knowledge from her hands.

...and it was very peaceful place. Living most time in Siberia I hate cold long winter, with 6 months of darkness. In Kiev I was in sun, with big chestnut trees full of chestnuts, in lights of sun. I felt freedom here, being free from music school and everything, being able to read all I wanted. The test of freedom awakened somethind deep inside, I felt myself able to fly literary. (Once I was on flip-flap doing high and felt I can really stay in air so let my hands open. Of course I felt on my back observing flip-flap over me and wondering why I didn`t fly).

It was ended in my 7 because my family was moved  to another city to work in another research institute in Siberia. So my Grandma came to see us, her grand children, to Tumen, and made us packages with nuts.  When we received it, it was like a holiday. Walnuts seemed as a mistery thing because normally we could see it from a distance on farmers market but never try, of course never try.

So my Grandma provides us with treasures.

Later I was told she was a brilliant coock, the best from her family. But we had no products available to cook in Siberia. Nobody knows how she was able to found a fish to cook it, it was a kind of miricle too, so I could remember the test of gefilte fish and farshmak. It was testy. Although her foots was  ill with so pain made her cryed, my GrandMa walked to a long distance to found what`s food products suddenly available in shops (it ended in half an hour) and bought it for us.

When my GrandMa was with us we lived in my room, both reading tonight. It was so peaceful time because nobody restricted me from reading (as it was later). Every week my GrandMa has a habit to clean our big samovar. She did it in early morning, and when we awake it was a beautiful shining metal samovar in the kitchen, so beautiful, and she joked she bought a new one.

The last time I saw my GrandMa was at the end of 80-th. I wasn`t told it was the last time. Nobody told it to me. Because she prepared to move to USA with all family and tryed to persuade my dad to move with them.

I wasn`t told about everything. Just remember my GrandMa asked me what is clothes I wanted and I answered - of course jeans, it was a kind of dream because it wasn`t available. I told her like about a dream, I love dark blue jeans from Texas. (Jeans is my truly beloved clothes up to the present time, so preferencies isn`t changes.) So the dream to have jeans was my second deep secret and I shared it with my GrandMa. (The first deep dream was to have 12, may be 16 felt pens, but even I knew it was impossible So it was buried in my heart and never revealed).

Thet time my GrandMa made me a treasure present. The watch. I had no before - it was too much expensive thing for my parents. But my GrandMa bought it to me. It was the treasure for me and I used it with great care. Actually I had it work now, really, with the original belt in the same condition my GrandMa presented it to me. She did it with the same watch to my cousin Hava, so she bought 2 watches.

The last visit of my GrandMa was just after Chernobil atomic explosion. They lived in Kiev when it happened so radiation made cancer for my GrandMa and her elder son. my uncle David. It was revealed too late when both moved in US, lived in LA, CA. We had no connection with them. I didn`t know about it. I wasn`t able to see my Grandma any more.

But she sent me jeans. Texas jeans in dark blue colour. Nobody told me how because everything was restricted that time. Actually I knew nothing about my GrandMa as if she and a part of family just disappeared in fairy place like Valinor. My parents just gave me jeans. It was my favorite clothes for 3-4 years, weared with great care, once I made it whitewash to make more blue. It was all of my 1-2 course in institute until it broke into parts. And I weared my watch all time, just worry to keep it safe. So it is safe till now.

I had a hard life when I was in school. When I finished it I was so good in mathematics so my parents decided me worth to be a doughter of scientists and let me move to my birth city Gorky (now it calls Nighny Novgorod) to study physics.

I was born in that city in 1971, but when I was 3 my parents moved to Syberia. So I remember nothing about the city. Only one thing was connected with my GrandMa, but really big one. The apartment I lived was built just to my birth, and my GrandMa helped with payment to my parents.

So that apartment was from her to me and I lived in it for 15 years, being able to have my space and develop everything being in safe.

That period was a kind of freedom for me, especially in compare with my bad school times. Because physics and Math is free from social press and I truly loved it. I studed kung fu here. And my deep dream to paint and even to have 16 felt pens came to true here.

The dark part of the story was Gorky city and it`s area was closed city because of many military plants. Atomic submarines plant, and atomic station they tryed to built just in dangerous close distance to my house. Also it was battle-plane factory and many others. Many physics researches was for military and Gorky was the city Academic Sakharov lived.

I had my student practice in academy Institute of Physics researchs and signed papers to have no connections with foreighners.Of course we had no connections because phone call was too much expencive even to call my parents, no Internet of course, so I had no information where my GrandMa lived and how.

Once in June, I remembered it clearly, I was in a bus going to my university. And I literary listened my GrandMa called me and then she screamed. I listened is so clear then I jumped out of the bus trying to found her. No ideas how and what, I listened her calling my name, scriming. Empathy works sometimes that way. I didn`t found her although several days I was watching to old ladies on the streets looked familiar to her on the back.

Later I was told that time she was dying. I was told she dyed only in October. And I didn`t belive in it. Even when I visited her grave in Los Angeles in 1997, even as I cryed for her, even as I cry now remembering it, I know - the best part of my GrandMa is alive.

I was told by my mom, when my GrandMa visited us in Tumen last time she carried several things. It was really heavy crystal dinner sets she carried with great care, being ill. She carried everything to set our family well, to care to us. Also they let my mom to have important things from their Kiev apartment to sent it to Gorky so I have furniture in my apartment to live. Because nothing could be bought, it was still totally deficit and money shortage in my family. So my GrandMa set everything to took her care for me even as she moved far away.

 Also my mom told me, my GrandMa remembered me the old candlestick. I took it with care and have it till now. Actually that candlestick you can see on the photos with my painting. Much more later, being in LA I was told by my aunt Sophia about that candlestick: this is special Shabbat candlestick, one from pare. The second one was remembered to another member of our original family, but that one was inherited by my GrandMa and then legated for me. May be because my GrandMa has the original family surname Chudnovsky, and I have it too. May be for another reason. I remembered GrandMa made a lamp lighting to the birthday of her mom. So I will do it with the candlestick for today, because it is 96 to my GrandMa.

I will light the candle for her for today. Because this is Winner Day. She won her life as perfect as she was able to. She was caring for many people. And she did her duty perfectly. She was the WInner of the life so that day, her birthday and Winner day, is the best to that memory.

The last thing I want to say now. Staying at the beginning of several big projects, having about 12 big projects in my head, preparing to serve human society by all of my strength, knowledge and art, I want my ancestry supports me. Because my talent is their talent. Things I realize and made actual is things they carried on their potencial for thousands years. Although my GrandMa was afraid of my dream to be a painter, because she was afraid all painters are poor, I use my art to make she immortal. Because Arts is immortal. As I win - many people will win with me.

I am not a kind of lonely winner who care just to own ego.

I win and will win with many people, making voice to those who kept silence. I have plan for that and I am going to do it. You will see it.

I am the voice for people who have important, treasure things to say. I am going to help them to say loudly their ideas and thoughts which is important for humanity, for progress, for development, for people in total.

Bodies is mortal. But deeds is immortal.

What`s true people made by their lives is alive.

With thanks and love to my GrandMa, Riva Chudnovsky, in her birthday.

Thank you for being with me.

Thanks for spenndig time on the computer (writing) so others don’t have to.

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