Have you ever imagine what is it - to be locked inside own body?  It`s seems as if you are  sitting in a car strewed by snow or sand, even if you want to move it`s impossible.

Several illnesses make such effect. If you belive immortal soul use body to have life experience you can feel it more clear. This painting describes the chance which made people be pented inside own bodies because of accident or desease and also borned with a genetic desease (Down syndrome). Although they can`t understand the tragedy of own position this is a hard tax for people involved in care and development. If people could understand their condition it will be the hard work for themselves. Consrained to overcome their restrictions people could open something new about the life.

I think this is not only about deseases. When we growth elder we lost functions of our bodies. So this is the scream of souls and also an indicator of a path they have to follow and borders they have to get over, and also it`s the allusion to think about help and protection other people could do.

To be in prison couses the state like a stretched bowstring. You energy accumulates to make a spurt to escape.

There are several possibilities to escape and one of it - to be free with a damage or hurt, without any planing and may be not in right time. Such Escape could put us from one prison into another, from ice to fire but as we feel the desire to be free we can`t calculate details. It`s the energy itself to rise us up.

It`s hard to explain what`s it: to feel a glass prison.

My normal state is the feeling of extantion as if my unvisible spirit-body let me to  touch clouds and stars, my ears can hear more then surrounding sounds, it hears the movement of galaxies higher, higher. In that state my mind contains knowledge how the world growth, and feel many things one time. Amazing state. And sometimes I lost it.

As it happens I feel how a glass prison separates me from all world. Invisible, sound-knowledge-proof prison, a glass box with so small size then my physical body feels pressure, and although I am healthy I started to choke. That time I want to fight with glass walls, but vainly, there is no solid walls. I feel myself in the bottom of deep narrow well. That time I have to control my breath and mind and restrict my thrist to return my original state, or to be out of that game and leave that flat narrow place of dingy colors and limitations.

Yoga and music helps me to relive it. After several  hours or several dayes the walls of the glass prison started to thin and disappired as a sugar candy. As Heavens opens my glass prison dissolves until it will be next time.

It`s +9 outside and as I feel the same inside. I like at least +25 degrees in rooms,  like to live without warm clothes, dressed in layers of light sari for pleasure and beauty, not to protect the body from cold. This is my happiness the work with colours and brushes warms me from deep inside. Started several funny pictures in graphics, and work with acryl on canvas, and with ink in chinese style.
Hate cold. Hate winter. Want summer again.

Ok, after several dayes of cold weather and hard work I`ve finished 4 Active Base paintings. First two "A Glass Prison" and "Escape-I" was started in July but was a little bit unfinished till September.

Second two "The Chance 1/700" and "The Choice" was started and finished in September.

I`ll descrbe all next posts and now want only to note the moment. Actually all of it was finished that Wednesday 21 of September, the day of Equinox, but I was tired and lazy to note it intime *-)

I`m keep working with the first active-base painting from twins I`ve started that sunday. It is near the finish. I`ve tired, have a little crazy because of the smell of painting`s chemistry and also happy. Oh sorry - I forgot my yoga practice today. Heh. I should do it in the morning before I have my tea and start to work and forget everything.

Today 11 of September 2011 is the Yoga Day. I`d celebrated it in Cultural Centre of Indian Embassy and when I`d returned back home I started with 2 new Active Base paintings I considered a long time. It represents 2 essential parts of life both physically and spiritually: a Choice and a Development process.

If you ask me why I have a twins painting so often I can only answer that my brain structure is ambidexter en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambidexter and generally I use both hands and at least 2 ideas are ready to be born one time. When it will be details and a long fine working I`ll do it separately but at the beginning of the creation (better to say "bearing") I need to keep balance of both body and mind to manage the whole process one time.  So yoga is the part of my creation process. Music helps me to make full concentration and pay all attention to paintings.

Although it is raining and I`ve a noisy headache at the left, the first stage of the process is nearly finish.  I did enough for the first stage, feel tired and one of ingredients for the painting is nearly finish. As I need it to wash my hands from black so it seems I`ll go to monday`s yoga with black fingers.

Nevetherless I feel satisfaction with the day and prepare to continue tomorrow morning.

Being tired, feeling in sad and sometimes in a point we need to choose what to do world helps us with a true words. This is the way god  provides us with his favour and courages us to keep our way and helps us to make decisions. Today one friend of mine sent me   the poem by Rachel Snyder rachelsnyder.wordpress.com/the-world-needs-you-now/ I want to recite here.

the world needs you now

The world needs you now.

More than you know.
More than you can imagine.

The world needs your gifts.
Your heart.
Your compassion.
Your understanding.

Your ability to listen
To speak
To feel
And to act.

The gifts that only you can give,
In the way that you and you alone can give them.

The time for holding back is over.

The time for believing that you are not good enough,
Not ready enough
Not wise enough
Has passed.

The time for fearing that you are too good,
Too powerful
Too magnificent
Too intelligent,
No longer exists.

You have run out of excuses.

You have exhausted every reason why you cannot be
Exactly who you were placed here to be.

Your usual distractions no longer distract.
Your strategies for staying small
For resisting the call to awaken
Are dead.

The world needs you now,
More than you know.

In the Great Circle of Life,
A space has been held for you
Since before Time began.

As you wandered, as you explored,
Your shoes waited, marking your place.

No one else approached,
For these shoes could only be filled by you.
You agreed to step into them when you were ready
To take your rightful place on the Circle.

And now, you are ready.

You are bored with your own self-absorption.
You choke and gag on your endless self-reflection and
Your belly is filled with an urgency
To leave jobs behind and embrace your real Work.

Now, at the exact moment that the world needs you,
You have uncovered and recovered and discovered enough
So that your authentic self can see the light of day.

So that you can step into the shoes that have been
Waiting for you since before time began.

Every moment that you delay,
Widens the hole in the web of existence.

For you are an essential ingredient,
Without which Creation is incomplete.
Global harmony rests in the palm of your hand.
Planetary peace will simply not be attained without
Your heart
Your mind
Your spirit.

The world needs you
And the world needs you now.

More than you know.
More than you can ever imagine.

So many things I want to do, preparing to one feel another ten, so it is not easy to turn myself into regular practice of something new. But I realized it`s important so that study-year (from september to june) I deducate to 3 new practice: music, languages, yoga. From the 1st of September I have my yoga practice in India Culture Centre G.Neru by Indian Embassy and I enjoy it. It`s a really good chance to have a presence of authentic representatives of mastership and culture both. Also it`s important to touch it in natural pure style, not like a business. Such things generally is not so important but for Empathy ppl ( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy ) just like I am it`s essential. We should have extra care finding a source of knowledge or for friendship-relationship or for another activity because wrong, low level, or durty source poisons us and deforms, brokes our channels. This is not a thing concerns emotions, but the thing bases our power and provide all kinds of abilities and dowers.

This is the reason I have no wish to study yoga in commercial fitness-club just near my house and prefer to move more then 1 hour one side to the Cultural centre. Hopes i`ll manage to make yoga my everyday true practice.