Not very old but I have several paintings in classical technigue needs to finish. I think today is the best to do it.

Subj! I`ll make pictures tomorrow today.

P.S. I don`t want but should go to bad.

I listened that some people creates new things as a game, in playful mood as children. I know how to make the same mood, easy thing if everything is OK or it`s required by sosiety etc. But for me sometimes creation process is like an oxigen mask in airplane.

I create my own oxigen-bubble, small cocoon of fresh pure world among commonplace stagnant air of daily ideas, people, actions. Of course it contains play ang joy, the same way as you feel cool wind on your hot cheeks on the centre of a summer megapolice. Sometimes creation is the way to make changes, for example to open new ways to do things, more short or optimal. Another time ceativity is my nesessity, spiritual, mental and perhaps even physiological needs to breath fresh air and feel hight horizon. The thing to survive.

Of course I could feel the same way not only my own creation, but ideas of another people. It may be scientific researchs (that`s why I like books much!), movies and also usual things which is well done. For example yesterday I bought a lunch-box with Japanese design, it`s really ergonomic, pleasant and exellent done both in shape design and the idea itself - to put several plates one over another and fix it. Today I`ve seen "Puss in Boots" by Deamworks and found it brilliand,  not only because I like cats, and especially for exciting ideas of the movie and it`s personification in characters. Also I like small creation-ideas such as to design some clothes for myself from beautiful wool and to knit it.

...I feel such things as a drop of fresh livly air and feel happy for the possibility to "drink" it from time to time. This is something like alchogol-free drinking. And things make me drunk stay the same - painting and music. So now I should stop taping and go to finish my new AB-tweens, listening a magic sounds of Chinese Guzheng, drinking my tea and tasting that deep autumn night.

Changes, changes, changes… As Heraclitus said “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

Sometimes we can`t realize changes in people, especially in ourselves, as we growth elder having new scars. But enviromental changes of seasons we can see clearly. In September I saw from my 21-th floor window how morning mist covered lakes. In October I saw how trees become yellow…

And today, the first Day of November, a little bit stange date with zero and one, I realized trees half-bold, and grass yellow.

It was the moment I felt how crystal air is and how naked seemed our park. How dark will be next 6 months…

Ancient Greecs created the myth about Apollo- the god of Art and 9 muses en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muse inspired 9 main arts. This is the great idea to put together several kinds of art and claimed it as the branches of Art in general meaning. It was great to read about it in Ancient Greecs Gods, Heroes and Myths I had read in my childhood, actually my father`s book. Phylosophy is the Art. MAthematics is the Art. Poetry and prose, dancing and music, science and rhetoric are Arts. People gained professional level in one branch feel it likeness with another… I spoke with many professionals about it.

All of it are the real brunches of something more, in Art -Global-Source, Uni-formula of creation. I feel it. I breath it. I touch it. This is why I can do so many things, from writing to painting, from science to meditation. The Source is the One so I`d never learned it separately, but feel it as special cases of one formula, flamed in veils of high energy, lighting in clouds.

So I have to be connected with the Art all time. Sometimes I have to concentrate to one brunch and temporary digress my attention from anothers but only for a shot time. For example that week I was busy with my management students, really brilliant from 1 course, prepared them to the exam and trained them, so I haven`t finished my new AB-Twins yet. But today I`ve finished the base level of painting, tomorrow it will be the second and hopes I`ll finish both next week.

From daily thoughts: I want to buy 9 inch e-book instead of mine comfortable pocket size 5 inch. Now I read several booksfrom neuropsychology and theory of categoris, it`s a bit complicated and sometimes I have to go back and reread previous texts and think about it so bigger screen will be helpful. I`ll buy it tomorrow. Occasionally found Aristothel`s "Poetica" and realized I didn`t read it, so ashame, he and 2 others Ancient Greecs was the ancestors of European mentality. I plan to refresh my memory about all of them in case to fullfill the gapes Western culture have with more full approach of Eastern philosophy. Life has no real contradictions, life is many-things-in-one-time and energy hiding in it.

...OK, my colours becames dry so I have to paint.

Ok, I should to accept the fact autumn`s came and also accept less sun and clouds, more dark and rain. Feeling a little bit ill and want to sleep. Hopes new AB-twins will be finished next week.

Ok, I`ve started my new AB Twins paintings. Hoped to finish all base work tonight but now I`ve hands trembling so can`t make fine lines more. Also I`ve inbreathed the chemistry from painting matherials, kerosene etc, and now should open the windows and go to bad before I want to sing something unpleasant and awake all neighbours. Hopes I`ll finish the base tomorrow before I `ll go to yoga trening. Good night, Anna, have a nice dreams!

What is a choice? One or two options is not, may be three, four?.. A choice construct a bridge from past (may be loveless) to future hopefully better. A choice isn`t a moment but a PROCESS.

Sometimes it`s sweet, but more frequently it`s a hardest work to change own past, own old habits and probably a sosiety`s customs too, and then to hold the position, making step by step from troubles to fresh new progressive world. A choice contains both revolution and evolution processes, both for persons and groups. Could you ever think what is it - to adopt a child with desease such as Down syndrome? It`s a hard evolutin for both parents. They take to their shoulders the evolution process from ignorance to development, from Sparta`s  customs to abandon a weak baby - to higher humanity of modern West.

Making the bridge from desease limitations to development they pays for everything increasing own limitations. Protecting a child from darkness they collides with darkness in a sosiety and also inside own souls. By many reasond, with many faces darkness is producing by tiredness, desperation, low resourses and low results, with impatience, and more, more, more… The only thing could help to go out from fire is love. Great humanity forges from tears and tension. LIke a Japanese sword   burying in ground to make steel flexible and strong, people who choice to create the Evolution Bridge turns to heart enlightenment and enlight a peace of world they concerns.

This is The Choice.

Sometimes I feel time as a clossy honey. It flows unhurriedly and I stuck in it as a moquito in a peace of amber. I feel as I do nothing. I feel as I create nothing. Energy stream outside is sparse and flat, and feelings point it. Nevetherless I am nearly finishing of 3 new Graphics I`ll publish in nearest future. Tomorrow will be Management Club I lead for my students, it`ll be the subject of the year “Strategy of life” and “Art of War”. We`ll discuss crowd behavior, suggestibility and imitation reflex - things yang managers ought to know to be professionals and to organize their life. So impersonally it`s a lot of things to do but deeply inside I feel as I feel, honey, flat, stop.
This is the autumn. The time for my yoga practice instead be lazy, oh, yes.